I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
