OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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