i permit you to call me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This baby is an asshole
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
