Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
