I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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