Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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