i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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