Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
