haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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