hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
