guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
