I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
