remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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