D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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