They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
