why didn't you poke me back
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
