we have officially lost it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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