me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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