see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
