If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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