why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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