Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
