But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
