How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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