Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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