You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
