whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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