READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
why is half of my head shaved?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
