Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
