My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He shit in the fireplace
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
