I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
