So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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