I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize