Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
