went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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