im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
