So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
