Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
