I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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