Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
