i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
