yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I can text with my tongue
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
