Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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