That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize