You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Found your dick twin last night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
