i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize