I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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