The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
