Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize