if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
