My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
