i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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