Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
