trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
