just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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