u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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