oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
