You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
