i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize